Sunday, 30 October 2016

Outfit: Metallic Midi Skirt

Hey lovelies! Hope you are enjoying your weekend!

As i am putting this post together i am sitting in bed drinking a malteser hot chocolate and i am sooooo happy about it. Even though a hot choc is my hot drink of choice all year round, there is NOTHING better then cosying up with one when it is a little chilly outside!

Can we talk about this faux fur coat for a sec????????? It is THE most warmest thing and it is has got my mums stamp of approval because she keeps coming into my bedroom, trying it on and attempting to steal it from me! Also, THIS MIDI SKIRT is sooooo lush too - the colour of it is PERFECT for this Autumnal season and makes for a lovely going out piece as it gets a little colder!

What i am wearing:
Coat - ASOS, Top - New Look, Skirt - Missguided - Shoes - New Look, Choker - ASOS





I am off to catch up on x factor and eat lots n lots of food (that is what Sundays are for right?!) so i hope you enjoy the rest of your weekend!
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Sunday, 9 October 2016

Outfit: Black Shirt Dress

Hey lovelies! Hope you've had a good weekend!

This shirt dress is my FAVOURITE thing i have bought from Boohoo. Looking on the website they don't seem to have this exact one anymore as i got it a while ago, but i have linked a very similar one below. This dress is actually really nostalgic as i wore it for a 21st birthday trip up to London. Is it EVER possible to go wrong with a black shirt dress? Dressed up or dressed down, it is a wardrobe essential in my opinion! Alsooooooo, can we talk about these GORGEOUS black peep toe heeled booties from New Look - prepare to see them a lot in upcoming outfit posts because i absolutely love them!


What i am wearing
Dress - Boohoo (similar here)
Shoes - New Look
Bag - ASOS
Choker - ASOS
Watch - Michael Kors





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Thursday, 6 October 2016

My Story: Depression

Hey lovelies! Hope you're having a great week!



I've got a pretty darnnnn personal post for you today but one that i feel i want to and am ready to share. If you had told me i would be where i am today last year, i wouldn't have believed you. If you are suffering PLEASE speak out. You are NOT alone. You are beautiful and you are loved.

So, a little bit about me is that i am not the most confident person, i'm shy, i get nervous and have always struggled with low self-esteem and self-love - it has taken me a LONG, long time to accept myself, but for the most part i was happy growing up. Whilst i have struggled for a good few years now, last year was definitely me at my very, very worse and it is a place i NEVER want to go back to. The biggest thing i struggle with in life is change - i am such a creature of habit. so when i went through a very personal and tough time about 6 years ago that would change my life forever, it was very difficult - i'm not going to talk too much about it, i'm going to skip some bits but get the main points out as i don't want to bore you, but i never could have imagined it would have affected me in all the ways it did, but it did.

It took me an incredibly long time to FINALLY come to terms with the fact i wasn't just sad and down, i was depressed. I think because there is so much negativity and stigma around mental illnesses and it is such a 'taboo' subject, i couldn't and didn't want to accept the fact i potentially had it. Yes, i guess i was embarrassed. I spent years after the 'event' of pushing and pushing and pushing my feelings and emotions to one side in the hope that all my problems would just vanish. But they didn't.

There became a point where i just couldn't hide from my issues anymore. The older i was getting, the worse i was getting. No amount of laughing, putting on makeup, doing my hair and pretending to be brave could cover up the fact i was really, really suffering. Everything i had tried to sweep aside and hide for the first couple of years after the 'event' was coming back to haunt me BIGGER and BETTER than ever. I became a really broken girl. I didn't want to do anything but stay in my bed with the curtains and blinds closed. I hated what i looked like, i hated my life, i was angry, i was upset, i didn't want to see anyone, i didn't want to do anything, i didn't want to eat, i was tired, i was exhausted, i was moody, i was having horrible thoughts - my behavior was just awful. I really didn't want to be in this world anymore. In fact, i was so angry over the fact i was bought into this world. Why did i have to be born? I just did not want to be here. I shut everything out. My family, my friends. I was so lonely. I couldn't bare to see other people happy or laughing - why couldn't i be like that? This was the ultimate call for help and this is where i owe EVERYTHING to my mum, because i wouldn't be here if it weren't for her. My mum was all i had.

My mum had taken me to the doctors a few times in the first couple of years after the 'event' but all that would come out of it was that i needed to speak to someone. I tried it, i went with my mum, and i hated it. I didn't want people to know about my issues - it comes down to embarrassment. Things were getting worse and worse for me. My mum kept saying things weren't ok, that i wasn't ok and i NEED to go to the doctors AGAIN. There was only a number of times i could keep refusing this before my mum literally gave me an ultimatum. They say that when you are 'depressed' you blame everything on your loved ones and those around you - it's true. My mum was taking the brunt of my issues and couldn't cope anymore either - i wasn't just ruining my own life, i was ruining hers. It was roughly this time last year where i had absolutely NO choice but to go back to the doctors. I went to see a mental health specialist where it was made pretty clear i needed to start medication - something i hadn't yet been prescribed. 

One year on and i have literally just got back from visiting the doctors for what we are hoping to be my last prescription of anti-depressants (they aren't something you can just stop taking one day, you have to be slowly taken off of them). I would be lying to you if i said i wasn't nervous or scared to come off them as they have COMPLETELY changed my life around and i have had such a positive effect from them - i still get waves of sadness but it is controlled. I cannot and do not want to go back to when i was at my lowest point. 

I owe my entire life to my mum who has been my absolute rock. I'm sure that seeing your daughter in such an awful way could not have been nice and whilst i was broken, you were broken too. Thank you for coming to every single appointment with me. Thank you for your continued support. I am so sorry for all the sleepless nights you've had, the worry i've put you through, the upset i have made you feel, and everything else. I love you so much and here is to a brighter and happier future <3 





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Sunday, 2 October 2016

Outfit: Pattern Shirt

Hey lovelies! Hope you've all had a super nice weekend!

OF COURSEEEEEE i've got another outfit post for ya! Autumn is now officially upon us and even though the sun is still shining away it has definitely gotten cooler - roll on the layers, coats, scarves and hats!
 The shirt (which has lots of gorgeous autumnal colours in it and i LOVE it) and jeans i'm wearing were featured in my September '16 Wishlist along with lots of other things i would like, so if you fancy a little nosy click here :)

What i am wearing
Shirt - Topshop
Jeans - Topshop
Trainers - Adidas
Choker - ASOS
Watch - Michael Kors








Hope you have a great week!
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